}); What If I Could Fly? – Blinds-Eye View

What If I Could Fly?

Psychologists say that people who dream about flying are looking for a temporary release from life’s responsibilities.  The ground represents reality, and taking flight is, therefore, an escape from that reality.  I don’t know how much I buy into dream analysis, but I do dream of flying quite often during my nightly slumbers.

Due to the fact that I only fly a few inches above the ground, in a standing position, gliding through the air more like a ghost than Superman probably says something about me psychologically too, but we’re not digging that deep into my psyche today.  My low flying probably has more to do with my fear of falling more so than any deep psychological reason anyway.  But what would it be like if I COULD fly?  This is how I imagine it would go for me.

I can picture myself really tensing up at that first initial launch.  Whether it’s a matter of propelling myself into the air or slowly lifting off of the ground like in my dreams, there has to be that initial fear/sensation of feeling like your going to fall.  We’ve all experienced that sensation when we’ve come close to accidentally falling and caught ourselves just in the nick of time.  You go through that one second of total shock/fear, every muscle of your body tenses immediately, and you feel that sharp tingle travel through your body, or at least in parts of it like your face.

You know that feeling, right?  That’s how it has to feel leaving the ground.  That moment when you don’t know if you’re going to take flight or end up eating pavement.  I think author, Douglas Adams, described it best in his novel, “The Hitch-Hikers’s Guide to the Galaxy.  “The Trick to learning to fly is throwing yourself at the ground…and missing.”  The premise of this line of thought was that, if you suddenly forgot, or were distracted from the knowledge that you were about to hit the ground, you would “miss it” and take flight.  Not an easy fact to forget or be distracted from, I would think.

Regardless, you’re in the air, so what do you do now?  How do you control your speed and direction?  Quite slowly and poorly, would be my answer most likely.  I’d be too scared to fly faster than walking speed, especially at the start.  As for controlling direction, I would assume that flight itself would be a form of telekinesis more than anything else.  You would control speed and direction with your mind.  So if you’re moving at a running pace or faster, you better have a decent reaction time.

Unless you’re practicing in a VERY large and empty field, there are going to be obstructions getting in your way.  Trees, bushes, houses, fences, cars, and pedestrians when you first take flight.  And don’t forget about those pesky telephone and electric poles and lines.  I can see those lines being a real issue for a guy with poor vision like me.  ZAP!  YEOUCH!

Once you’ve flown high enough, and out of the range of these nuisances, you still have birds, planes, tall trees, hill, and mountainsides to contend with.  A lot of potential for some major owies here, not to mention some confusing radio calls to local airport towers and authorities.

“You say you saw a short, chubby blind guy sitting on the wing of your Cessna sir?  And what was he doing there, may I ask?  Mooning you, you say?  Umm…okay…we’ll have to get back to you on this one sir.”

Do I really picture myself able to fly as fast as a plane?  Not likely.  Being blind and overweight, I’m not much of a daredevil.  I would have to travel no faster than running speed to have the reaction time to be safe with my vision.  Furthermore, I’m about as aerodynamically shaped as a Sherman tank.  The wind shear of speeds higher than 20-30 mph would hit me like a tornado hitting a brick wall.  I’d have little to no control.  It would be funny as hell to watch though, huh?

Then there’s the whole aspect of getting lost when your flying really high.  If you’ve ever flown, in an airplane that is, I shouldn’t have to tell you that things look a lot different from thousands of feet up.  Whether you’re a blind man or not, it would be very easy to get lost.  Of course, with everybody having GPS on their phones today, you could probably find your way back eventually.  I’m not sure which is more comical to image though.  Somebody floating around at 1500 feet checking their phone for directions home, or Google Maps trying to figure out why your car is 1,000 feet over the roads it’s trying to direct you on…lol.

And now, we’re up to the landing, which has issues of its own.  If you’ve ever watched shows/movies such as Iron Man, Heroes, or The Greatest American Hero, you’ve seen some of the issues.  Speed and dexterity are as key to landing as they are to launch and travel.  Maybe even more so, as the key is to stop safely.  With telekinetic control over your body’s speed and direction, this shouldn’t be TOO difficult, but misjudgments can happen.

I can see me smashing into the side of a house, clothes-lining myself on those telephone/electric lines, or taking out myself and an innocent, very surprised pedestrian.  Practice would increase my efficiency, but do nothing for my health, other people’s health, or local property values.

Finally, there is the little issue of protecting my identity.  No, I’m not planning on becoming some blind flying superhero or vigilante, who has to protect his identity from his enemies.  I’m sure the government and the scientific community as a whole would love to get their hands on a chubby, blind human missile though to see what makes him tick.  Or more to the point, fly.  I would have to be VERY discreet with my flights and landing sites, not to mention hide my face and features.  At that point, I might as well be a superhero.  A very hilarious and ineffective superhero mind you.  DareDevil fans would be so pissed.

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