Now there’s a sentence you never thought you’d be reading, huh? You should know me by now though. Not only will I write about the strangest shit, but I can always find a positive, or at least comical situation on any given subject, from big to small. So, what are the advantages of having a small penis? I’m glad you asked.
#10 Hidden Weapon
Whether it’s morning wood at the breakfast table or that untimely woody at the school chalkboard or board meeting, you’ll have nothing to fear. Your little guy while barely be noticeable. Not only that, it won’t feel like you’re trying to poke through a wall with it either. Is that a mini Gerken in your pocket, or are you meh about seeing me?
#9 No Dress Left/Right Dilemma
Most guys have to decide what side to stash him on, looking in the mirror to make sure he’s no conspicuous. Not you. He can just rest there in the middle road.
#8 Easy On The Oral
Hey ladies, or gents. You have zero chance of choking on this little guy. He’s not even long enough to trigger your gag reflex. Now tell me, isn’t that a bit of a relief?
#7 One Hand Is Sufficient
When it’s time to get down and dirty with yourself, you always have that one free hand. One is more than enough to handle your little guy. You can hold up your dirty magazine with the other hand, use your remote to get to the good scenes in that porno, or just have a smoke or sammich while you’re going at it. Now that’s what I call living!
#6 He’s A Money Saver
Fewer inches mean less to lubricate. Less to lube means your lube last longer. Look at you saving money like a boss!
#5 More Strokes Per Minute
On the same subject, a smaller wiener means fewer inches to stroke, means more strokes per minute. Talk about a time saver. No carpal tunnel for you buddy!
#4 No Zipper PTSD
A smaller penis means he’s easier to tuck away after having him out. This means less chance of getting him caught in your zipper. It’s safer to be small.
#3 Fewer Position Decisions
Okay, so this has its upside and downside. Having a small dick limits your choices of sexual positions. This can make intercourse a bit mundane at times, but it can also save you an embarrassing trip to the chiropractor for trying something your couch potato ass can’t handle. Leave the high bar to the gymnasts there, Skippy. Keep it simple and do what works. As far a variety goes, there are other creative options too. What I can do with my hands and my lips? What I can do with my hands and my lips!
#2 Hands-Free Pee
While the other guys are grabbing their smelly, dampish dongs, we small guys are just standing there, hands on our hips, looking like superheroes. No piss on the hands for us!
#1 No Means No
When you’re not in the mood, you’re not in the mood. There’s nothing she can do about it either. Go ahead and try to find Mr. Wiggly, I dare ya. When he’s really shy, he can just pull his head the whole way in there like a turtle.
So, a show of hands, who has a small penis out there? Yeah, like you’d admit it. What are other advantages there to having a shorter-than-average little trooper? Leave your responses in the comments section below…if you dare!