}); Top 10 Terrible Things To do In The Nude – Blinds-Eye View

Top 10 Terrible Things To do In The Nude

As many of you know, I have little to no modesty when it comes to any subject. I’ll talk about any subject and give a very unique take on it that you may not have considered before.  The same goes for today’s topic, 10 terrible things to do in the nude.  Americans, in particular, are very hung up on the subject of nudity, and I find that hilarious. It’s our natural form, people.  It’s who we truly are underneath the multi-colored, multi-fabrics we adorn every day; Just because society says we have to.  Don’t get me wrong, there is a time and place for clothing.  Such as the examples I’m about to list here.  The rest of the time though, I say let it hang out and hang free!

#10  When It’s Cold

This is a no-brainer and just makes good sense.  If it’s 32 degrees outside, you GOTS to cover up.  Free and natural is one thing.  Losing your nards or nips to frostbite is another.  It’s simple survival.  Wait till you’re back in your cozy warm home to shed the layers.

#9    Cooking

We’ve covered this one before a time or two, but I can’t emphasize it enough.  Hot surfaces, boiling pots, and steaming ovens and naked bodies don’t mix.  Getting a steam, oil, or contact burn on your hand or arm is one thing.  Dipping your tits into a pot of boiling pasta water, or touching Mr. Winky on the inside of your oven door is something else.  YER-OUCH!

#8    Running

I don’t care if you’re in shape, out of shape, or watermelon-shaped.  Nobody, not even Playboy Centerfolds, looks good running naked.  What little or lot of body fat you have will be jiggling like a freaking earthquake, your balls will be running their own race between your legs, and for you women, you poor ample breasted women, you may end up giving yourself a concussion.  Just don’t.  You don’t believe me?  Get yourself a treadmill and a video camera and check out the footage in private.  If you want a real treat, play it in slow motion or quick speed.  It will be a race to see which happens first.  Will you get violently ill, or laugh yourself to death?

#7    Skydiving

The scary thing is, I’ve actually heard of people doing this one.  I would think the chill of the atmosphere at the higher elevations and the wind sheer itself would make this horribly uncomfortable.  And again, I can’t imagine it being a pretty picture with everything flopping and flying everywhere while you’re plummeting to the earth at Mach One.  Yes, another kodak moment, perhaps.  But definitely not the best of ideas.

#6    Riding A Bike

Maybe not a bad idea for the ladies, as long as you’re pedaling on a non-bumpy road, but I think the guys might get a bit sore without some southern support.  At least you can blame the injury on something manly, if not stupid.

#5    Using A Charcoal Mask On Other Parts Of Your Body

You’ve all seen the videos of the morons trying to take off these torturous concoctions of their faces, armpits, etc..  Imagine using them ALL over your naked body.  I think one little tug would convince me that it was time to start my new life as the Fatman Batman.  Just get me a fancy golden utility belt, and my black charcoal mask-covered body would be ready to fight crime.  It would be a helluva lot easier than ripping if off most of the more sensitive parts of my body.

#4    Certain Exercises

Just like running, there are some exercises that just wouldn’t work well in the nude.  Hilarious, perhaps, but not well.  Jumping jacks would be extremely vicious to the ladies. Rope climbing and the consequential rope burns could hurt everyone.  And squats could be extremely painful.  On the other hand, though, stretching exercises would be QUITE entertaining for all.

#3    Play With Your Pets

If you’re talking about your pet hamster, Wolverine, or your pet fish, fluffy, its one thing.  If you have the traditional dog or cat though, and you play ruff (Pun acknowledged) you know how many scratches you can end up with on your exposed arms and legs.  Especially if you’re wearing short sleeves and or shorts.  Do you really want that little sausage of yours hanging out for your pooch to chomp, or the cat to claw?  Or how about a nip on the nip, ladies?.  Nope nope nope!

#2    Welding

More of a profession than an everyday occurrence, but it’s still legit.  Hot sparks of molten metal and exposed flesh is a trip to the emergency room waiting to happen.  The same thing goes for gas torches.  Just say no!  On the upside, it would be great if you wanted to singe off unwanted body hair?  Free manscaping or bikini waxing, without the wax.

#1    Meeting Her Parents

Unless your new girlfriend’s parents are majorly into the nude thing, it’s probably a good idea to dress up a bit the first time you meet them.  Her mother MIGHT approve of your choice in no fashion, but dear old Dad will probably be heading to the gun cabinet.  Consider yourself warned.

So, did I miss any good ones here?  Do you do something in the nude that everyone might find dangerous or entertaining?  If so, leave your comments down below.  I dare you!

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