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10 Terrifying Sex Toys

  DISCLAIMER: Content is both verbally and visually Not Safe For Work or anyone. You have been warned. As someone who has always been quite open with my sexuality, I’maboutays game for little tidbits of extra knowledge and experience. Granted, my actual experience in this area has been somewhat lacking the majority of my life,

How To Take A Shower

Now, you’re probably saying, Marty, I think I already know how to shower.  I’ve been doing it my entire life.  And I respect that.  If you’re old enough to be reading the dribble that comes out of this site, you should be old enough to handle that daily task on your own.  Go, you!  But

What If Life Were Like a B-Rated Horror Movie

As someone who has always enjoyed watching horror movies, I’ve watched my fair share of really bad ones.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The B-rated ones that really bombed at the Box Office.  The ones where you had to take a 2-hour shower afterward, and you still felt unclean.  Now imagine if real

How To Stay On A Diet

Timing is everything Rule #1 for going on a diet is getting the timing right.  You don’t want to jinx yourself, so you need to be extra careful when you do it.  You don’t want it to be ANYWHERE in the holiday season between Thanksgiving and Christmas of course.  There are WAY too many fattening

10 Terrific Ways To Make Sports More interesting

Anyone who truly knows me is well aware of my take on most sports.  I have absotively posilutely no interest in the majority of them.  Especially if it centers around a bunch of guys trying to grab on to each other’s balls.  Not dissing my gay friends, but if I had any interest in that

Top 10 Terrible Things To do In The Nude

As many of you know, I have little to no modesty when it comes to any subject. I’ll talk about any subject and give a very unique take on it that you may not have considered before.  The same goes for today’s topic, 10 terrible things to do in the nude.  Americans, in particular, are

How To Bath A Dog

Unless you’re one of those lazy people with money popping out of your butt, you’ve been there.  He may be man’s best friend, but man he can stank sometimes.  That’s when it time to corral the poor pooch and give him a bath.  No easy task.  Here’s the Marty Version of this next-to-impossible task. Step

Top 10 Terrible Places To Have Sex

Anyone with a healthy imaginative sex life has had sex in more locations than just their bed.  Though it may certainly be the most comfortable and reasonable place to “do the dirty,” we all like a little spice and variety in our sex life.  Doing it in different locations is part of this.  Anyone who

100th Blog Post

To celebrate this 100th blog post on Blinds-Eye View I’ve decided to have a little contest.  I’ll get to that in a moment though. First of all, I would like to thank everyone who has supported me in this endeavor.  It’s your encouragement through Likes, Comments, Shares, and submissions which have given me the self-esteem

Top 10 Terrific Advantages Of Having A Small Penis

Now there’s a sentence you never thought you’d be reading, huh?  You should know me by now though.  Not only will I write about the strangest shit, but I can always find a positive, or at least comical situation on any given subject, from big to small.  So, what are the advantages of having a

How To Make Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

There’s nothing better on a cold winter day than a nice hot bowl of chicken soup.  It’s mom’s #1 go-to when you have a nasty cold, is awesome with a couple grilled cheese sammiches, and there’s no more popular healthy comfort food.  You can eat it right out of the can if you want to,

A Modest Proposal: No More Disposal Of The Dead

A while back, some of my more devote readers may remember I wrote a post “A Modest Proposal,” on the advantages of ceasing human life at age 70.  For those of you who didn’t, a “modest proposal” is a totally ridiculous suggestion, backed up with a ton of supporting evidence.  It’s not meant to sway

What If The World Were Flat

By now you’ve probably heard of these wack jobs and their theories that the Earth is actually flat.  Unbelievable, huh?  They actually claim that it’s a government conspiracy that we’re taught the Earth is a globe.  I’m game.  What if the world IS flat?  What if every science teacher lied to us as children?  What

10 Terrible Ways To Show A Person You Love Them

With Valentine’s Day this week, or as I affectionately like to call it Happy Love-Is-For-Suckers Day, I figured I’d give some of you bleeding heart romantics some love advice.  Not on how to win someone over.  I’ve covered that one in a past blog post.  Rather, to give you some suggestions on what not to

10 Terrible Jobs Worse Than Yours

Here’s one to make your day a little brighter.  No matter how much you may hate your current job, there’s always a “worse” one out there.  I emphasize “worse,” because that’s not to say your job is any better than theirs.  Any job where you’re working to support yourself and not mooch off other taxpayers

What Was Your Worst Subject In School

I was feeling a little nostalgic when I came up with this one.  Thinking back….WAY back to my secondary school days.  For the most part, I was the guy who just “got along” through school.  I wasn’t a straight-A student by any stretch of the imagination, but I had no major issues with passing either. 

10 Terrific Alternatives To Watching The Super Bowl

Yes, I realize that this is a day late, but I just came up with the idea.  Those who know me well are well aware of my dislike for sports.  I don’t enjoy playing them, I don’t enjoy watching them, I don’t enjoy hearing about them.  I know, that makes me totally “un-merican,” a communist,

How To Change A Diaper

I’m not sure what popped this one into my head.  I’ve had babies on the mind lately, for who knows what reason.  Maybe I’m pregnant?  That would definitely take the cake on top of all my other body woes…LMAO.  Nonetheless, I’m sure somebody will find this Helpful How-To of use.  It is the #1 hardest

Strange Things People Do

Have you ever sat down and really considered just how unique the human race is from other animals?  If you’re normal, like most people, probably not.  These are the type of things that come to me when I lay down to sleep at night.  Hey, I’ve never claimed to be normal.  I don’t anyone else

What If Everyone Were Country

DISCLAIMER: Those who know me are well aware of my jovial prejudices when it comes to anything country.  Not the greatest stance, growing up and living in rural Pennsylvania the majority of my life. I’ve never been known for being non-controversial though.  This being said, all my “rips” here are in good fun.  So, what