}); How To Write Marty-Style – Blinds-Eye View

How To Write Marty-Style

I’m sure more than one of my readers has thought, “Just how does Marty come up with some of these goofy shit ideas?”  Others have probably wondered, “Is this guy a freaking genius or is he certifiably insane?”  Still, more have pondered, “I wonder how he manages to show his face in public?”

To all of those people, and the rest of you I say, here is my personal writing process.  I’m not saying it’s a good one.  I’m not saying it’s a successful one.  I’m not saying that you may be shunned by society or burnt at the stake for following my twisted example.  I’m just saying come with me, I have something to show you.  hehehehe

No Pre-planning

One of my biggest personal rules when it comes to writing is don’t preplan. Or at least, don’t preplan too much.  I know, you’re typical writer has a complete outline of his story, physical and personality sets for his characters, and every aspect of their work researched before they start creating their world.  I don’t roll like that.

My creativity just kind of jumps out when I put my chubby little fingers on the keyboard.  Perfect example.  I didn’t know until I typed the words, “How To…” in my Word document this morning what this particular Helpful How-To was going to be about.  It just came to me.  Call it inspiration.  Call it desperation.  Call it the work of a narcissistic fornit named Fido.  I don’t know.  (Bonus points for anyone who knows what a fornit is) I’ve always just worked better that way.  It’s like the current novel I’m writing right now.  I “Believe” I’m in the last ¼ of the story, but I’m still not sure what’s going to happen in the next scene, let alone how it’s going to end.  I have faith in my wacky soul that it will definitely be entertaining though.

Include Yourself In the Story

It’s a common word of advice for writers to write about things that they know.  It makes the writing easier and requires less research.  I usually take this a step further though.  Regardless of the number of different characters with different personalities, I always include one that is essentially “Marty.”  Or, at least, how I picture myself to be.  Or, at the very least, how I wish I could be.  It makes it so much easier if you can be yourself, to some extent in your story.  Anyone who has read my short story, “Pre-Hysterical Time,” or watched my progress with “The Vampire Chad,” has probably noticed this.

Exaggeration Is Required

Anyone who hasn’t noticed how I over-exaggerate in my writing should really pay better attention.  Reality is everyday life and boring as hell.  We read to escape our mundane world.  Or, in my case, I write to do so.  What are the chances that a prehistoric caveman would be so unlucky as Nadsquish Oomph?  What chance would a dweeb like Chad Elliot have with a sexy goddess like Chrystal Pierce?  Who really makes a cake like I instructed in one of my first Helpful How-Tos?  Nobody.  It’s all for laughs.

Lots of Gratuitous Sex

Anyone who truly knows me is well aware that I’m obsessed with sex.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, most men are.  No news flash there.  But what sets me apart from my common man is one thing…this twisted pervert gets to write about it whenever, wherever, and however I choose.  Now that’s just downright scary and dangerous…lol.

Include Your Friends

Just like I enjoy putting myself into the story, or at least a character with my personality, I tend to do the same with my friends.  Again, it makes for easier writing of characters and their personalities.  Besides, it is entertaining to see those friends squirm at my representation of them in print.  😊

Keep the Plot Moving and Changing

To write like Marty, you have to keep that plot in a total state of flux.  Don’t put too much physical description into the scene or most of the characters, because they’re going to be changing fast.  I’m a storyteller, not an interior designer.  Besides, if the story is told well, the reader makes up their own interpretation of what the characters and the venues look like.  Who am I to interfere with their imagination?

Mix Eloquence With Vulgarity

You’ve seen it if you’ve spent more than 5 minutes reading my content.  I can come off sounding like an esteemed college professor of the highest level of breeding and civility.  But then I can sit there scracthin’ myself while ma little one gits me a cool one from the icebox.  What can I say, I don’t like my characters to be too predictable.

There’s Always A Loser

Whether it’s the “Me” character or a different one, there’s always going to be a hard-luck case in all of my stories.  Whether it’s a temporary status or a permanent one, they’ll always be one in there. Nobody’s life is perfect like a 50’s sitcom.

Typos…Lots and Lots of Tipos.

Blame it on my poor vision, fingers that can’t keep up with my brain, or a pure hatred of copyediting.  You WILL find plenty of typos in my work…especially on Blinds-Eye View!  After running through Microsoft Word, Grammarly, and WordPress, you’d think I’d catch em’ all, but a fair amount still sneaks past this blind guy.  My apologies.

The Ridiculous Three

My final and most favorite writing technique is purely a humor enhancement.  Whenever possible, throw 3 totally random or bizarre items together to get a laugh.  In an example, “She found a tuba, a penguin, and video recorder lying on her son’s bed.  Why couldn’t he just have Playboy magazines under his mattress like normal teenage boys?”  And yes, I just made that up in the spur of the moment.  Be afraid, be very afraid!

So, to my fellow writers out there.  What are some of your favorite writing practices or rules you follow?  I’d love to hear about some weirder ones than mine.  Leave your comments down below.