}); Helpful How-To’s – Blinds-Eye View

Category: Helpful How-To’s

How To Wrap Those Christmas Presents

Twas the night before Christmas, the children are napping. You put it off way too long, it’s time to get wrapping.   You bought your supplies at the Dollar Store. You’ve got ribbons and bows, wrapping paper galore.   Your one lost set of scissors, you’ve finally tracked down. But you forgot the tape, so

How To Put Up A Christmas Tree

So, it’s that wonderful time of year again, December.  Time to get all our Christmas shopping done, bake all those delicious Christmas cookies, decorate the house, and put up the tree.  If you’re like me, the last of these little holiday chores is usually the most challenging.  That’s why I’ve put this little Helpful How-To

How To Fart In Public

Admit it, we’ve all been there.  You’re hanging out with friends, family, or coworkers, and you feel those bubbles pushing their way through your lower intestines.  What do you do?  How do you handle it?  What exactly is the etiquette to proper gastronomical release?  I have you covered! Hold It The first and most common

How To Dig A Ditch

Unlike most of the kids of today, my brother’s and I had a lot of physical chores we were expected to perform on a regular basis growing up.  Chopping and stacking wood, shoveling coal, spreading gravel, mowing the yard, helping build garage after garage after garage, etc.  None of these jobs were particularly fun, we

How To Drive A Car (Blindman Style)

DISCLAIMER:  This Helpful How-To is for entertainment purposes only.  If you are legally blind, please do not attempt any of the suggestions in this post.  That being said, it is also not my intention to discriminate or poke fun at the legally blind or visually handicapped.  Okay…okay…that last part is a lie.  I’m legally blind

How To Survive Black Friday

In just a few short weeks, it will be upon us again people.  That treacherous After-Thanksgiving chaos called Black Friday.  Or, for those trying to be politically correct, The After-Thanksgiving Sale.  Anyone who has braved the big name stores such as Wal-Mart knows, there is NOTHING politically correct about this particular bloodbath.  It’s survival of

How To Make A Halloween Costume On A Budget

Anybody who is a parent knows.  Those store-bought Halloween costumes can take a monster-sized bite out of your budget.  They’re expensive as hell for what you get; A low-quality piece of crap that’s likely to make it through both those school Halloween parties and then Trick or Treat.  You’re far better off just making your

How To Carve a Jack o’ Lantern (Marty-Style)

Carving a jack o’ lantern out of a pumpkin is one of the oldest of All Hallows traditions.  In actuality though, did you know that the practice began with carving out turnips, potatoes, and gourds? There were no pumpkins in Celtic Ireland where the tradition began centuries ago.  It was when Irish settlers came to

How To Rid Yourself of Unwanted Spirits

Okay, so we covered the ways to tell if your house was haunted in a previous post.  So if you’re sure your place is definitely haunted at this point, and it’s not total paranoia on your part or someone’s idea of an awesome prank, it’s time to get rid of Casper.  There are several ways

How To Tell If Your House Is Haunted

One of the most fun activities during the Halloween season is visiting haunted houses.  For some unfathomable reason, the majority of us just love having the shit scared out of ourselves.  Sure, a fair share of haunted house visitors just go to scoff at the lameness of the creepy décor and unbelievable costumed freaks, but

How To House Train a Puppy

Bringing a new puppy home is one of the most exciting experiences for a couple or family.  Maybe not as thrilling as carrying your new bride over the threshold, or bringing your first born child into your new home, but definitely up there.  And, just like the wife and child, it isn’t a decision to

How To Get A Good Night’s Rest

If you’re like me and a million other people, for one reason or another you’ve become an insomniac who finds it next to impossible to either get to sleep or stay there.  Whether it’s as deep-seeded as loving it the first time you had a friendly sleepover as a kid, or you picked it up

How To Know When You’ve Had Enough

It’s easy to tell when you haven’t had enough to drink.  You’re still sober, right?  But how do you know when you’ve hit that point that enough is enough for the evening?  There’s that point where you’re a great time, and everything is hilarious and fun.  A time that you’ll be talking about for years,

How To Maintain Your Car

You can ask anyone in my family.  I come from a long line of mechanics.  My grandfather ran a junkyard, my Dad was a mechanic and owned his own garage and parts store, and he taught my brothers everything they know about cars today.  Being legally blind, with no chance of ever driving or owning

How To Make Lasagna

In my continuing effort to help streamline everybody’s life a little bit, I decided to go a little bit Italian this time.  Granted, I don’t have an Italian bone in this German/Scott/Irish body of mine, but that’s probably a positive thing.  If my family were Italian I’d probably be sleeping with the fishes after this

How To Cook a Turkey (Marty Style)

If you’re in your 50’s like me, you’ve probably had the opportunity to stuff and roast one turkey in your life.  And no, we’re not talking about your husband, wife, or significant other.  We’re talking about the variety that goes “Gobble Gobble” here.  If you’re still unclear, it may be time for that therapy you’ve

How To Take Care of Your Baby Man When He’s Sick

Admit it guys…no matter how difficult it can be to deal with your woman when she’s sick, that’s nothing compared to how she puts up with you when you’re under the weather.  The following is a simple guide for the ladies in how to deal with us during these times. First things first.  Telling him

How To Survive Her Week Of Hell

We’ve all been there guys.  Whether it’s your girlfriend, wife, sister, or best friend, we’ve all had to deal with a woman who is close to us during “that time of the month.”  Between the insane hormonal cocktail, their bodies cook up once a month, and the crippling, excruciating things their bodies are doing to

How To Get Ready For The Coming School Year

Yes, it’s quickly approaching that time already.  It’s the beginning of August, and by the end of the month, the kids will be back in school.  (Multiple boo’s from the kids…glorious shouts of hallelujah from the parents.)  Regardless of how you feel about it, it’s almost here;  For my children, in 3 weeks, 4 days,

How To Clean The House (During Summer Vacation)

Nothing makes you feel more accomplished than looking around a spotless house, right?  Nothing is strewn across the floors.   Dishes and laundry are all done and put away.  Furniture is all dusted.  Vacuuming is done, and there are no hideous smells or monsters named Grengiber lurking in your bathrooms?  We’re talking heaven! Pffftt…maybe if