Now that I’ve warned the men what not to buy their women, I suppose it’s only fair to let the women know what to buy the men in their lives. As long as you don’t stray from this list ladies, I won’t have to do a 10 Terrible Christmas Gifts For Him post. You have to admit, ye of the female gender are far less dangerous and weird with your gift giving then those men can be. How much have your really used that electronic, underwater turnip twaddler he got you last year? That’s why I went the other route with them…lol. With that said, here are my suggestions for ya.
Not a personal favorite of mine, but there are a LOT of guys out there who love em’. Just make sure you by the exact right brand, from the exact right store, for the exact right price, and that it is, in fact, the exact tool he wants. No pressure, right?
#9 Game Tickets
Again, you get me these and you REALLY don’t know me. Give them to most guys though, and they’ll be like putty in your hands. Once more, be very careful here. Make sure to buy them for an event featuring his favorite team vs. his least favorite time, and pay close attention to seating. Placing him in No Man’s Land, The Nose Bleed Section, or the stadium parking lot will nullify your good intentions.
You may argue this one with me, but let’s think about it ladies. When was the last time the man bought ANY clothing for himself? He’s most likely wearing the same jeans and t-shirt he graduated high school in, if he still fits in them, and maybe if he doesn’t. Furthermore, this will give you the opportunity to SLOWLY add some culture to his closet. There is more to life than jeans, t-shirts, and flannel!
#7 Stupid Saying T-shirts
On the subject of clothing, there is no man who can resist a funny, or stupid saying on a t-shirt. Make it something that screams “I’m so cool,” “I’m so stupid,” or “I’m so cool and with stupid,” and you’ll be all set.
A major no-brainer, which I probably didn’t have to put on the list, but I’d be shunned by all men if I didn’t. I’m not saying ya let him open you right up there in the living room with the rest of the presents, I’m talking Sex Coupons, with all kinds of nasty little treats on them. Be imaginative, but be warned. He may try to run through the entire book of coupons in the span of one week. The upside? He may wear you out, but then you’ll be free and clear to have it on YOUR call the rest of the year.
#5 Ugly Recliner
What man doesn’t love a good recliner? As long as it’s not pink and fluffy, you can pretty much buy him and style and get away with it. A recliner is a recliner. On the other hand, please make sure not to let HIM decide which one he wants. This is a HUGE mistake of epic proportions! He will pick out the one piece of gad awful, ugly, 25-electrical attachments, crap that doesn’t go with anything in your living room. And you’ll be staring at that piece of crap for all existence! You have been warned!
#4 Sex Doll
Most women will scoff at this one, but let’s think on this. One, you can pawn him off on it when you’re not in the mood. Two, he’ll be less likely to leave the house, and therefore less likely to be out wasting money on who-knows-what. And three, I guarantee you, ANYTIME you need to get his attention, all you have to do is start making out with Oxygen Annie. You’ll have his undivided attention. Now, if he starts taking her out to dinner, would rather have sex with her than you, and you catch the kids calling her Mom, then you might want to go shiv the freaking floatie whore a few times.
#3 Restaurant Gift Certificates
Another no-brainer. Guys love to eat. Get him some gift certificates for the local steakhouse, and you’ll have him mowing the lawn for ya in February. Another upside, you get to share the gift with him, and nobody has to do dishes on those nights. Definitely, a win-win all around.
#2 Gives His Car/Truck A Present
If there’s one thing guys love as much as you women, it’s their vehicles. Buy him some flashy mud flaps, seat covers, or floor mats, and he MIGHT even love you more than his vehicle for a while.
Beer, whiskey, liquor, whatever his favorite poison. Get him a case or a few bottles, and he’ll be in his glory. Just be prepared for a touchy-feely man afterward, followed by a sick and or comatose one soon thereafter. You’ll probably get more satisfaction from his sex doll after he hits the bed ladies.
Did I miss any great gift ideas, not on this list? Which would you drop from the list to replace it with? Let me know in the comments section below.