}); 10 Terrible Christmas Gifts For Her – Blinds-Eye View

10 Terrible Christmas Gifts For Her

With Christmas upon us in a few short weeks, every guy should be scrambling to figure out what to get his lady.  Well, not us “lucky” ones who don’t have a lady, but that’s another matter altogether.  For those of you in deep emotional relationships with a member of the female persuasion, it can be nerve-wracking what to get her for the Christmas.  I can’t really point you in the right direction, as you should know her better than I do, but I can definitely offer you a few things to definitely avoid.

#10  Clothing

As much as she would probably adore you picking out the perfect top, pants, or shoes for her, this isn’t going to happen.  She can rarely pick out the perfect top, pants, or shoes for herself.  You’ll be insulting her if it’s too big, shaming her if it’s too small, and showing that you have absolutely no taste when she cringes at the style or color.  No…bad boyfriend/hubby!

#9    Makeup

Unless you’re an expert on what brand, type, shade, yada yada she wears, this is another big no-no.  Even if you do know all this information, for some bizarre reason, it’s not the best gift.  It’s like saying “Oh gawd, you REALLY need to keep covering up with this stuff!”  Nah….won’t go over well at all.

#8   Vibrator

In a sexy relationship, you might think that this would be a very kinky and cool toy to get her.  Let’s look at the facts though, shall we?  You’re good for 50-60 thrusts a minute if you’re an Olympic athlete in top condition.  Mr. Plasto-Pleasure vibrates at an awesome 200-300 strokes per minute.  Do you really want that kind of competition in the bedroom?  I don’t think so.

#7    Kitchen Gadgets

Yeah, that handy-dandy new food processor would make things go so much easier and faster in the kitchen.  See how fast it can chop up your manhood when you give it to her as a gift though.  You’re basically saying, this will help you make easier faster sammiches for me bitch.  Let me know how that works out for ya.

#6    Vacuum or Scrubber

Along the same reasoning as the Kitchen Gadgets.  She doesn’t want something that’s going to make cleaning the house easier or more convenient either.  At least not as a gift.  You’re setting yourself up for a lot of housework with this one, bud.

#5    A Motorcycle

My Dad actually pulled this one on my Mom’s birthday when I was a kid.  He got her a mini-bike for HER birthday!  Besides riding on the back of it a time or two, she never drove the thing.  He, my brothers and sister, and I liked it though.  Mom, not so much.

#4    Gift Card

Unless it’s for something specifically romantic or cool, nothing says “I have no idea what to get you, and I don’t care” than getting your significant other a generic gift card.  At that point, you’re basically just handing them cash and saying, “Take care of it yourself.”  Good luck getting any Christmas night, my friend!

#3    Tools

You really are trying to get hit over the head with that new hammer, aren’t you?  I don’t think I have to say anything else in regard to this one. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

#2    Exercise Equipment

Yes, she may have made a resolution to lose a few pounds or inches come the New Year.  And yes, you should do everything in your power to support that resolution of hers.  But unless you got yourself some equipment as well to join her in her endeavor, or a couple’s membership at the local gym, you’re making a big mistake.  Nothing says you’re a big fat slob who needs to do something about your flabby rolls than a medicine ball and some barbells.

#1    Firearms

Granted, in rural Western Pennsylvania where I live, most girls would pretty much cream over a new pistol, shotgun, or rifle.  This being said, your typical gal in most venues would not.  All you’ve done is given her the means to put some lead in your ass the next time you piss her off.  Way to go, Einstein…lol.

So, did I miss any other horrible Christmas presents to get your lady for Christmas?  If so, let me know in the comment section below.